


The Angel from my nightmares

by Forever_Cynical



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, Drinking, F/F, Mentions of Character Death, mentions of Lucy/alura, mentions of supercat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-04
Updated: 2016-09-04
Packaged: 2018-08-13 01:26:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7956766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Forever_Cynical/pseuds/Forever_Cynical
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alex dreams of Astra, she dreams of what could have been and dreams of what she did.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Angel from my nightmares

She can't remember the last time her dreams weren't littered with what could have even, of various possibilities, of different endings. She often contemplating asking Hank if he could simply just wipe her mind of all the memories of her former lover. That would mean disclosing her only secret from the Martian, the only secret she held from Kara. She also knew he would tell her that to feel the pain she was in, to feel every ounce of the loss flowing through her body, was a reminder that the love she had for Astra was real.

The dreams had gotten worse since the appearance of Alura, she thought bitterly as she got out of bed and wandered into her kitchen. She pulled a glass from the sink not caring if it was dirty, then again she couldn’t really bring herself to even care about herself these days. Kara got her happy ending. She got Cat eventually, she got her mom back. Alex was still searching for her father and she was without Astra. She tried not to be bitter. She really did. She poured the scotch into her dirty glass and shot it back quickly. When she first saw Alura, she thought it was her. She thought it was her General. Then she noticed the absence of the grey streak, she had often twisted around her fingers when they lay in bed together. Her heart ached for her lover. Now she got to watch Lucy Lane fall in love with Alura, someone who looked so much like her Astra yet so different. It was fucked. She was fucked.

The dreams taunted her with the life that they could have lived, the children they could have had. She hadn’t told Kara. She had never told her baby sister that she has fallen in love with enemy, that she had slipped a Kryptonite sword into the woman she loved to save her closest friend. She had watched the light leave Astra’s eyes. She had seen the forgiveness that had rest upon her face. She had seen the love. They had been on different sides of a war, had believed in different things but Alex truly felt her heart had always been meant for her.

She wondered in another life, if they had gotten the happy ending they deserved. She remembered the nights that she had sat by Astra’s cell and heard her stories of Krypton. The stories she heard of her younger sister, so wide eyed and curious. She remembers the first time she stepped into Astra’s cell and pressed her lips against hers. It all seemed so far away now.

Now she was sat on a stool, in her kitchen at 3am, drinking scotch out of a dirty glass, remembering the woman she killed. The woman she loved. She could talk to no one about it. She would mourn her loss alone.

She was Agent Alex Danvers, she was Astra’s brave one and she would love her until her dying breath. 


End file.
